When I look back
When I'm 60, and look back on my life. This stress. This anxiety. This despair...because of work. Will mean nothing. I'm using so many of my years on this. I will have nothing to look back on and think "I made a difference". It will all just be "I stressed so much and was anxious about so much, for nothing". It didn't mean anything. I'm spending most of my life doing stuff for other people. spending 8+ hours a day for them. Not with my kid. Not helping anyone. Not doing anything that makes me feel alive. Not doing anything I find purpose in. I can't keep doing this year after year. So, what do I do now? How do I support my kid and her education, without this kind of job? This is the only thing I have experience in. I can't afford a course to do counselling or anything like that, which is what I really want to do.