Spaghetti Brained Musings

and so a child was born. amoungst flowers, amoungst the tress who spoke freely. Amoungst the moss that whispered her to sleep. An amoungst the the rocks that breathed the life into her small, golden body. the first time she opened her eyes she saw a rainbow. the first thing she remembered touching was the earth. and the first time she spoke...the rocks shattered. the trees shook, the flowers fell apart and the moss turned to glass. her voice was not for this place, so she chose other ways to talk. The earth forgave her and together they learnt how to mold this single beautiful being named Mara. her life was not so different from your or mine. she still felt frustrated and caged in her life despite her Sprite like existence. the kind many of us dream of. just like us, she would sometimes forget to see, feel, touch and listen to the magic that surrounded her. she was lucky though, the warm, steady pulse of the earth would always bring her back to her roots, remind her that even if sh...

If I wanted to write a story where would I start? Where does anyone start? So much to say but no way to say it. What is in a way anyway? Too many forks. But not enough spoons. Where do chopsticks come into it? Do they come into it? Where do I come into it? There’s so much to say. So much I want to say. But it’s not coming through me. Where is it coming from? Me. Or you? The last thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the park. I was reading. My shoes were off because it was a warm day. Not so warm that I was sweating. Warm enough to be relaxing – my body didn’t have to be rigid against the cold.

so many goings ons. so much of thunks. 3 books to write them in...and none of them have scribbles. i am joe's big, giant sigh. pros and cons, scales and twins....with a giant question mark hovering above all of it. I'm on the cusp of...something....ebbing and flowing. I think there are too many things trying to be sorted out at the same time. the desire still stands though...i want to flourish. more than anything i just want to ...fly i guess. freedom. i want to be able to laugh and show The Bean the world and all its magic. moments of it come at least. need more of it, for both of us. light as a feather. at least my body isn't such an anchor anymore. already able to move easier. i have energy now...its amazing. the energy doesn't last at home though, this bothers me. but i suppose that is being worked on. bubblin' and brewin' too many or so many? so many. more and more glimpses...there's one right now :) yay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vgwp-iQenn4 I was lying in my bed last night Staring at a ceiling full of stars When it suddenly hit me I just have to let you know how I feel We live together in a photograph of time I look into your eyes And the seas open up to me I tell you I love you And I always will And I know that you can't tell me And I know that you can't tell me So I'm left to pick up The hints, the little symbols of your devotion So I'm left to pick up The hints, the little symbols of your devotion I feel your fists And I know it's out of love And I feel the whip And I know it's out of love I feel your burning eyes burning holes Straight through my heart It's out of love It's out of love I accept and I collect upon my body The memories of your devotion I accept and I collect upon my body The memories of your devotion I feel your fists And I know it's out of love And I feel the whip And I know it's out of love I feel your burning eyes bu...

Last night a long standing person dominated my dreams. Been a very long time since one person was in all the dreams I remember - 3 of them, and one of them was a dream in a dream, so i suppose that's technically 4. Rephrase - I don't remember 2 of the dreams, but I remember SS being in the dreams, I woke up inbetween. The parts of the other dreams I do remember go as follows: the dream in the dream: In the Crypt, he was standing behind 3 small tables. red lights on and echoing. the tables had one them: a brown leather covered book, thick sheets of just off white paper and some wood from the sea. He was standing there with his hands behind his back looking at me and waiting for me to choose one. In my dream I woke up and went "whoa i had a cool dream about you" and told him that. there was an undercurrent of ...hmm...i can only really describe it as "Jeffrey Dahmer"ness...and comfort, following the same tone of our entire relationship. it was nice. so...

a dancing ghost amoungst the memory trees. a living thing that writhes and pulses....but lacks definition. deeds undone.  a whispery catastrophe. but none of it makes sense...does it need to? it all makes sense. i want to sleep next to trinkets that tinkle, sit under a sun that sets, laugh under colours that sparkle. the only tears would be from the moon. freedom. i want freedom. freedom with my pixie bean. no more cages. no more stifling. being able to fly again. there's so much more to life than this. i want to live it.