Ohm
Yesterday, I got my first ever real hug. Real because....it was REAL. it was a healing hug. it changed something for me. It's the first time I've ever felt that from someone. Hugs are never really about giving I feel, it's about taking. In my experience anyway. Yesterday I had a healing one. It was amazing. It was effortless. It was natural. It just was.
I guess I must've been wide open for anything really though, because when I got in the car I was assaulted by the negative energy in a way I never have been before. And it came to me...I don't want that negativity in my life, near me, near my child. I really truly saw how damaging it is to ME. Sure to the person it is coming from as well, and to my child. But wow...it hit me like a tidal wave.
I'm just kind of in awe right now. THAT is where I want to be. THAT is how I want to live. THAT is how _I_ want to feel and to give to other people sometimes too.
I feel like I have so many more words in me about it...but it's more feels.
My mum going through this thing...has done a lot for perspective. CODA, has done a lot for learning about me.
It's not what YOU did changed me, it's THAT ACTION that changed me. And that's CODA right there.
I feel like I'm struggling so hard to find that connectivity with everything...because I do believe it. I know it exists, I feel it. I want to feel IT. I want learn to surf...to sit in the still waters and just share with the ocean and stare out into the vastness ...that I guess represents freedom, truth and love...serenity. I want to involve myself with the power that is a wave. It's always seemed like a very spiritual thing - to surf. I feel like I'm ready to do it.
I want to surround myself with like minded people...for the first time ever. I'm in the perfect position to do that too because I have no one around me. I want and need that serenity. It's time now.
I don't know what I'm going to do about the negative force that is there...I hope discussions will help. If not...then I guess I just need to take that step.
I guess I must've been wide open for anything really though, because when I got in the car I was assaulted by the negative energy in a way I never have been before. And it came to me...I don't want that negativity in my life, near me, near my child. I really truly saw how damaging it is to ME. Sure to the person it is coming from as well, and to my child. But wow...it hit me like a tidal wave.
I'm just kind of in awe right now. THAT is where I want to be. THAT is how I want to live. THAT is how _I_ want to feel and to give to other people sometimes too.
I feel like I have so many more words in me about it...but it's more feels.
My mum going through this thing...has done a lot for perspective. CODA, has done a lot for learning about me.
It's not what YOU did changed me, it's THAT ACTION that changed me. And that's CODA right there.
I feel like I'm struggling so hard to find that connectivity with everything...because I do believe it. I know it exists, I feel it. I want to feel IT. I want learn to surf...to sit in the still waters and just share with the ocean and stare out into the vastness ...that I guess represents freedom, truth and love...serenity. I want to involve myself with the power that is a wave. It's always seemed like a very spiritual thing - to surf. I feel like I'm ready to do it.
I want to surround myself with like minded people...for the first time ever. I'm in the perfect position to do that too because I have no one around me. I want and need that serenity. It's time now.
I don't know what I'm going to do about the negative force that is there...I hope discussions will help. If not...then I guess I just need to take that step.
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